My my my...Word really does travel fast.

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0412drive-thru-toss12-ON.html

They will get what they deserve.

Lazy fucking cops.

http://www.wgal.com/news/8642001/detail.html


I'm going to tell this story to my kids when they just won't settle down. "Remember the sheep?! Don't make me be a cop here! Get over here or I'll shoot your ass! I ain't chasing you around anymore!"

Lazy fucking cops.

ChristoPooh.

Pooh: "This is my favorite part of the day."
Christopher: "Which part?"
Pooh: "The the part where you and me become 'we'."

That's from a real commercial from the new straight-to-DVD Winnie the Pooh movie, "The
Search for Christopher Robin".
So...Has anyone checked Pooh's place?

Best Buds.

Who are TV's best buds? Is it:
(a) JD and Turk
(b) Gregory and Wilson
or (c) Alan and Denny

If you don't know who these people are I don't think I really want you reading my thoughts. Good-day.

"YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS!" ep.1

Here's a new segment we're doing around here. I like to call it "YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS!"

Today we are looking at Furgie from those darn Black Eyed Peas. What exactly does she do? She seems to just repeat what everyone else says in a sing-song voice. I honestly once saw her and Will.i.am in an interview were they were promoting the group being at the Junos (Canada's grammys) where Will said something like "Be there. The Junos with the Black Eyed Peas." and she came back with "The Junos". Imagine that in a high pitched, sing-song voice and a little dance that I do. It's pretty funny, I promise.

So I deem you, Furgie of the Black Eyed Peas, "COMPLETELY USELESS!"

What if he was a stapler? Would you like still him?

WEAR THE GRUDGE LIKE A CROWN! says:
she likes anything with rob schnieder. derp-a-derp-de-derp

surelynotmybrother* says:
I'm confused.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It was self-assited suicide,
but part of me lived.
Now i'm half alive,
and locked away for good,

OOOOOOOOOOOOH I shit my pants again. This title refers to the post posted two posts below this post and not at all to this post.

Oh yes, a Terri Schiavo movie. I don't find that offensive at all. I really don't. A tad disgusting though. It's the same with this United 93 film. Not really because someone is making money on others suffering (although there is a little something there) but mostly because I know the story already. I just read it in the newspaper. It just bleeding happened!
Why don't you just make a movie about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston breaking up? At least America would actually care about that.

If I wrote for Happy Days.

"Hey Potsie, remember the time Fonzie jumped that loan shark?"
"Ya, haha, that bitch never saw it coming."

WEAR THE GRUDGE LIKE A CROWN!

Sweet mercy...

That's what people say.

I was going to write about how good Joss Whedon is but my mood has changed.
I was under the influence of one of his works of art but other things have awakened me to the saddness that is life so I'll try to remember to write about that later.

Let's all take time to bathe in what is the beauty of sadness. The melancholy of a nineteen-forties mid-summer's night. So sit outside as the sun is almost going down, pretend it's a bit warmer, and listen to Frank Sinatra's 'That's Life'.

There can be beauty in the wake of anything.

I am the law!

I'd like to be a judge. Just the kind that get to decide without a jury. All the imposing your beliefs of what's right with only a little regard for the law. I think I would make good choices.

"You say this man stole your purse huh? I sentence you to death sir!" <---me

"But your honor, don't you think that's a little extreme??" <---guys lawyer

"EXTREME?! NOW I SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH!" <---me

"YOU'RE A MAD MAN!" <---someone in the room

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" <--- me of course

*rat-ta-a-tat* <---my balif's tommy gun

Someone get me my wet naps. ....Is that one word?

Has anyone else just been sitting there, listening to Tool, and felt the creamy warmth of soft, liquid pooh trickling down their anus hole? Maybe it's just me but...every damn time...